MythClan: A Warriors Parody
by Dancer of Words
Summary: The bizarre daily life of MythClan, LightningClan, DarkClan, and KittyClan.
1. Allegiances

**AN: I will explain about the weird Clans at the bottom, so don't assume this is a really weird fanfic. Please review! Thanks to xXxMossheartxXx for some of the names in LightningClan!  
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** ALLEGIANCES**

MYTHCLAN

LEADER **Mermaidstar - **pale silver she-cat.

DEPUTY **Sirensong - **brown and black she-cat.

**APPRENTICE, BASILISKPAW**

MEDICINE CAT **Unicorngallop - **silver and gray she-cat.

**APPRENTICE, PEGASUSPAW**

WARRIORS

**Dragonflame -** ginger hot-headed young tom with amber eyes.

**Dryadleaf - **brown she-cat with green eyes.

**APPRENTICE, BANSHEEPAW**

**Vampirefang - **black tom with unusually long fangs and curiously red amber eyes.

**Krakenface - **big gray tom with deformed face, a personal favorite of mine.

**Trollmouth - **big gray tom who talks too much.

**Phoenixfeather - **gold and ginger she-cat. Dragonflame's sister.

**APPRENTICE, FAUNPAW**

**Goblin-nose - **cranky light gray tom with misshapen nose.

**Dwarflegs—**white tom with unusually short legs and yellow eyes.

**APPRENTICE, GRIFFINPAW**

APPRENTICES

**Basiliskpaw -** grayish brown tom with wickedly bright green eyes.

**Pegasuspaw -** pure white she-cat with purplish-blue eyes. Excellent jumper.

**Bansheepaw -** black-and-gold she-cat with high, ear-piercing voice.

**Faunpaw -** soft brown tom with big brown eyes.

**Griffinpaw -** gray tom with gold eyes and reddish highlights on his fur.

QUEENS

**Centaurfur -** brown she-cat with green eyes. Kits: Satyrkit. Mate: Krakenface.

**Pegasicornfoot - **light silvery gray she-cat. Kits: Witchkit, Wizardkit. Mate: Trollmouth.

**Sphinxriddle -** clever black she-cat. Kits: Fairykit. Mate: Dwarflegs.

KITS

**Satyrkit - **mischievous ginger tom.

**Witchkit-** white and gray she-cat.

**Wizardkit -** gray and black tom.

**Fairykit -** delicate white she-cat with lavender eyes and wing-shaped markings on her back.

ELDERS

Giantstep - ginger tom with enormous paws.

KITTYCLAN

former kittypets, thus the weird names.

LEADER **Mr. Fatso-star **- young, plump brown tom.

DEPUTY **Li'l** **Sweetie-pie - **sleek silver she-cat (Mr. Fatso-star is very taken with her).

MEDICINE CAT **Goldilocks -** golden white she-cat.

WARRIORS

**Miss Furbottom - **pure white she-cat with green eyes.

**Moony** - dark gray tom with yellow eyes.

**APPRENTICE, KITTY-PAW**

**Elfy** - brown and black tabby tom with ticked fur and yellow eyes. Moony's brother.

**Sasha** - extremely plump black she-cat with yellow eyes.

**Fluffy** - sleek brown tom with green eyes.

**Rosie - **rosy brown she-cat with lively, sparkling green eyes.

**Goocoo - **light gray tom with silvery white muzzle, ear and tail tip, chest and paws, with blue eyes.

**Flora - **light brown and white she-cat with purplish-blue eyes.

**Stripes - **gray tom with black tabby stripes and amber eyes.

APPRENTICES

**Kitty-paw -** sweet silver she-cat with bright green eyes.

QUEENS

**Autumn - **calico she-cat with green eyes, and a queenly air. Mother of Icey-kit. Goocoo's mate.

KITS

**Icey-kit -** pure white tom with turquoise-colored eyes.

ELDERS

**None.**

LIGHTNINGCLAN

new clan, thus leader's name

LEADER **Lightningstar - **gray tom with black-tipped fur and amber eyes.

DEPUTY **Mottledpelt -** she-cat mottled different shades of brown with bright yellow eyes. Lightningstar's mate.

MEDICINE CAT **Owlspots - **silver tabby tom with gray and black spots.

**APPRENTICE, MOONWHISPER**

WARRIORS

**Ivyshadow - **white and dark brown she-cat with bright green eyes. Mosspelt's mate.

**APPRENTICE, REDPAW**

**Mosspelt - **big light gingery brown tom with amber eyes. Fiercely protective of his mate and kits. Ivyshadow's mate.

**Greenbrook**** -** gray tabby tom with bluish-grayish green eyes. Wise, with a very_, very _small sense of humor. Dappledfeather's mate and Amberwind's brother.

**APPRENTICE, RUSSETPAW**

**Dappledfeather - **silver she-cat with white and gray dapples, long, fluffy fur and blue eyes. Greenbrook's mate and Owlspots's sister.

**Cinderleaf -** gray tabby she-cat with amber eyes and dark gray stripes on her tail. Crowflight's mate.

**APPRENTICE, BLUEPAW**

**Frostmoon - **silver dappled grey she-cat with dark-blue eyes. Frosty and cold to others.

**Crowflight -** swift black tom with white chest, paws and tail tip, and icy blue eyes. Stubborn and loyal. Cinderleaf's mate.

**Windflight - **small, swift grayish brown tom with light yellow eyes. Amberwind's mate.

**Frostrain -** silvery Russian blue she-cat and silver-tipped fur with blue eyes. Rabbitleap's mate.

**APPRENTICE, NIGHTPAW  
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**Streamstripe - **silver tom with black stripes running towards his tail. Sweet and shy, most of the she-cat apprentices have a crush on him.

**APPRENTICE, ROSEPAW**

**Rabbitleap - **jumpy brown tom with brown eyes. Frostrain's mate.

APPRENTICES

**Bluepaw - **Russian blue tom with amber eyes. Brave, even a bit overly brave. Son of Rabbitleap and Frostrain.**  
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**Nightpaw -** swift slim black she-cat with amber eyes. Quiet; when she speaks, her voice is entrancing. Daughter of Crowflight and Cinderleaf.**  
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**Russetpaw - **ginger tom with amber eyes. Jumpy and excited. Son of Mosspelt and Ivyshadow.

**Rosepaw** - white, dark brown and ginger tortoiseshell with green eyes. Daughter of Mosspelt and Ivyshadow.

**Redpaw -** creamy ginger tabby tom with darker red muzzle, ears, paws, and fluffy tail-tip. Bright yellow eyes.

QUEENS

**Amberwind -** swift gray she-cat with amber eyes. Mother of Bark-kit, Willowkit and Heatherkit. Windflight's mate and Greenbrook's sister.

KITS

**Bark-kit - **small brown tom with gray-green eyes. Extremely frisky.

**Willowkit -** slim gray she-cat with amber eyes. Looks exactly like her mother.

**Heatherkit - **silver she-cat with purplish-blue eyes.

ELDERS

**Zephyr - ** small black tom with yellow eyes. Former rogue.

DARKCLAN

LEADER **Woodstar -** muscular, dark brown tom with white paws and white-tipped fur and icy blue eyes, very intimidating.

DEPUTY **Darkmoon** - fierce black and gray tom with pale yellow eyes.

MEDICINE CAT **Quailfeather - **grumpy dark brown she-cat with feathery markings and pale yellow eyes.

WARRIORS

** Shadeflight - **ferocious black she-cat with white paws, muzzle, ears and tail-tip, with icy blue eyes. Darkmoon's mate.

**Blackpelt - **pure black she-cat with bright green eyes.

**Ravengaze - **dark, almost black gray tom with green penetrating gaze. Blackpelt's brother.

**Tigerpelt - **dark tabby she-cat with amber eyes. Hawkshadow's mate.

**Hawkshadow - **brown and black tom with amber eyes and a split ear.

**Briarthorn - **brown she-cat with a prickly personality and thorn-like patterns on her back.

**APPRENTICE, SHADOWPAW**

**Nighthawk - **black, brown and gray tom with yellow eyes. Briarthorn's mate.

**Talonclaw - **brown she-cat with blazing amber eyes.

**Darkstorm - **brown she-cat with green eyes. Ferocious. Shadowclaw's mate.

**APPRENTICE, HOLLYPAW**

**Shadowclaw** - ambitious black tom with white ear and tail tip, muzzle and paws and blue eyes.

APPRENTICES

**Shadowpaw** - dark gray she-cat with golden green eyes.

**Hollypaw - **black, nearly greenish in the light tom with green eyes.

QUEENS

KITS

ELDERS

MythClan 

Despite their weird names, they're by far the most normal. Everyone, even the author, wonders how they got ahold of the author's mythology books...

KittyClan 

Former kittypets, whenever a new apprentice is named, they're told to go and learn the way of the kittypet. When they return with their new name, they're declared warriors. And when a kit is born, the queens use their Twoleg knowledge to name their kit something a Twoleg might name it.

LightningClan 

They think lightning is, like the most awesome thing since prey that catches and kills itself for you. That's why they chose Lightningstar, because he looked like he had been struck by lighting AND he was the most loyal.

DarkClan 

They think dark colors are the awesomest, so whenever they have a random pale kit, they ship it off to one of the other Clans. Never KittyClan, though... Also the equivalent of ShadowClan. They're also somewhat feminists, despite having male leader and deputy.


	2. Starstar!

**AN: Hope whoever reads this will like it! Well, MythClan is half-sane, too. Sorry this took so long in coming, but hey, you can't rush a master painter painting his best work ever!  
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**That... didn't make sense but hey, I'm crazy and have a super villain on my side. Don't mess with me!  
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_**Chapter I**_

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><p>"But Dryadleaf, I don't <em>want<em> to go hunting!" complained Bansheepaw. Her patient mentor winced at her apprentice's high voice. Once angered, Bansheepaw _would_ scream, and the entire Clan had already once been rendered helpless by the incessant screech.

"Bansheepaw, think of it this way. The more you hunt, the more your skills increase. The more

your skills increase, the closer you are to becoming a warrior." Dryadleaf explained.

"Fine. But next time you won't get off easily." Bansheepaw threatened darkly. Dryadleaf sighed. Once they gathered up the other apprentices though, Bansheepaw smiled, and used a quieter voice.

"So Dryadleaf, where are we going to hunt? Unicorn clearing? Near the Basilisk tree?" Faunpaw meowed, full of excitement.

"Why not try the Unicorn clearing, and try using a quieter voice, Faunpaw, or all the prey in the territory will hear you." Dryadleaf meowed, laughing.

"Oh. Okay!" Faunpaw mewed, bounding off in completely the wrong direction. Griffinpaw had to grab him by the scruff and drag him back like prey, and he then turned him in the right direction and shoved him, causing Bansheepaw to giggle. When they were in the shade of the tall pine trees surrounding the clearing, Griffinpaw smelled an intruder, and wasted no time in telling everyone.

"Clan cat?" Dryadleaf asked urgently.

"Nope. I don't think it's a rogue either, this one doesn't smell like the others." Griffinpaw replied, crouching in the tall waving grass.

"Alright. We'll fan out and take him by surprise. Bansheepaw, go to the farthest side, Griffinpaw and Faunpaw, go to the middle, across from each other." Dryadleaf growled, nudging them in the right direction. Griffinpaw crept to his position and waited for Dryadleaf to make the first move. He waited for what seemed hours, until he was hot and tired. Finally, Griffinpaw glanced over and saw a slight flicker of grass. He jumped out of his hiding place, only to collide with the intruder. He was a pure white tom, and his eyes were bright amber. Even though his fur was matted and dirty, Griffinpaw could see muscles rippling under his pelt.

"Hello, young one!" he meowed suddenly, causing Griffinpaw to jump back.

"I, am Starstar!" Starstar mewed loud enough for everyone from there to the Twoleg-place to hear.

"Wh-what?" Griffinpaw spluttered, shocked. The others cautiously approached, hackles up. Bansheepaw was holding a plump squirrel in her mouth; it was the only thing preventing her from screeching shrilly.

"I waited for ages, so I thought I'd hunt. It practically jumped into my mouth." Bansheepaw explained through a mouthful of fur when Dryadleaf glanced at her reprovingly.

"Anyways, we should take him back to camp. We can hunt on the way home." Dryadleaf meowed briskly.

By the time they got back to the camp, Griffinpaw had caught two mice, Faunpaw had barely caught a rabbit, and Dryadleaf carried a vole and Bansheepaw had her plump squirrel. The warriors who were lounging outside after eating smiled approvingly. Krakenface and Trollmouth glanced up and glared at Starstar.

"Bansheepaw, you take your squirrel to Giantstep, I'm sure he'd appreciate it," Dryadleaf told the young she-cat. "And you two, guard Starstar. I don't trust him one bit," she hissed. With Griffinpaw and Faunpaw stationed on either side of him, she padded to Mermaidstar's den, where she found the leader and deputy sharing a plump rabbit. Mermaidstar glanced up and smiled.

"Ah, Dryadleaf, we were just talking about you. Tomorrow is going to be Bansheepaw and Griffinpaw's warrior ceremony." Mermaidstar announced, savoring the look of surprised gratitude that flashed in Dryadleaf's eyes to get the energetic she-cat off her paws.

"Oh, thank you," Dryadleaf meowed, "but right now there's a more important problem. We found an intruder, in the unicorn clearing. He calls himself _Starstar_ because he thinks StarClan sent him to us. But he seems eager to help, so maybe he would just be content with warrior." Dryadleaf explained.

"I will come and meet him. If he looks strong I will let him stay a couple days. If he proves to be a good warrior, I will take him in and he may stay for as long as likes." Mermaidstar mewed, sweeping past with Sirensong following. Dryadleaf scrambled after them after a moment.

"Starstar." Mermaidstar meowed. "I understand you were found in the Unicorn clearing. Would you like to stay a few days and rest?" Mermaidstar asked imperiously. Starstar simply nodded, his eyes following Mermaidstar's every move.

"Alright then. Vampirefang!" she signaled the black tom with a flick of her tail, "Take him to Unicorngallop to check him and afterwards get him situated in the warriors den." Vampirefang nodded with a rather evil gleam in his amber eyes. Starstar cringed away from him and looked reluctant to leave.

Later, once Pegasuspaw had helped Unicorngallop check the newcomer, Starstar, and she had escorted him to the warriors' den, she went and selected a small mouse for herself and headed to the patch of trailing ivy that created a small cozy nook well padded with moss and feathers. It was right next to the apprentice den and was where the apprentices ate and groomed. She found Bansheepaw there, munching a thrush.

"You look happy. Why are you happy?" Bansheepa demanded, glaring at her.

"What's wrong with me being happy? Anyways, Starstar is _quite_ the gentleman." Pegasuspaw meowed, pretending to swoon.

"Hmm. I didn't get that impression." Bansheepaw muttered. Pegasuspaw smiled, wolfing down her mouse.

"Pegasuspaw! I need you to come sort herbs!" Unicorngallop called.

"Gotta go," Pegasuspaw smiled apologetically. She quickly groomed herself and padded over to the medicine den.

"Ah, there you are. Now sort that pile of herbs and set them out to dry. Then I need you to make a poultice for Giantstep, his joints are acting up." Unicorngallop meowed briskly. Peguasuspaw got to work. _Marigold here, catmint over there, yarrow, horsetail, juniper's easy, oh, we got a lot of ragwort, that's good... better set aside some daisy and marigold and some of the ragwort for Giantstep, and some poppy seeds for pain._

After she finished sorting herbs, she chewed up the ragwort, marigold and daisy, wrinkling her nose at the foul taste. Pegasuspaw spat it out and bundled it up in a beech leaf. She licked up three poppy seeds and tucked them under her tongue and picked up the bundle. As she trotted out into the clearing, a small gray and white bundle skidded in front of her.

"Hi! Where are you going? Can I come? What's the bundle for?" Witchkit mewed excitedly. Pegasuspaw smiled and flicked her tail, indicating for Witchkit to follow. Witchkit grinned.

Once inside the elder den, Pegasuspaw set down her bundle and meowed, "Now, Witchkit, I want you to gently put this poultice on Giantstep's hip. Hello, Giantstep! How are you feeling? You just had a pretty nasty cough."

"Thank you, Pegasuspaw. I've felt better, but I think this old hip is the cause," Giantstep rumbled.

"Good. And here are some poppy seed to help you sleep," Pegasuspaw mewed, placing them in front of him.

"Thank you," he murmured, lapping them up.

Back in the medicine cat's Pegasuspaw curled up in her nest and drifted to sleep.

_"Pegasuspaw!"_

_Pegasuspaw fought to open her eyes and found herself in StarClan. Blinking, she made out the figure of a muscular brown tom._

_"Titanstar!" Pegasuspaw meowed._

_"I have a message for you. As your darkest hour comes, a bright white star will save you," Titanstar meowed solemnly._

_"And now it is time for me to say goodbye."_

_"Wait! Come back! What do you mean?" Pegasuspaw cried out, darkness filling her vision once more._

__**AN: So what do you think? Good? Bad? Awesome? R&R please!**


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